witch at the christening
one of pappa's oldest friends called the other day with some good news. his daughter's wedding's been fixed. a daughter dangerously past the right age, so the news brought relief and joy to everyone that heard it. because of her overripe age though, she is marrying someone with a ten-year-old child and sick cancer-ridden parents. oh, but he is a good match. he belongs to the right caste and sub-caste. he comes with good references. he's well off. he's not keen on her working after the wedding. so.
so her parents have no money. so her dad is hurrying up with his eye operation next month, when her current job will still cover the hospital bills. so they can't afford rent for too long now. and they're the nicest family that ever i met. kind to animals, devoted to friends, generous with all they have. they lit a candle in a faraway church when our missing dog was found. they're almost ridiculously nice. and so incredibly poor.
so i say to pappa: surely, their daughter isn't going to abandon them. i mean, she'll either get a job to support them or get her husband to compensate for the salary she isn't earning. that's only fair.
and my parents reply in unison: but how can he be expected to take care of her parents? why should he?
because she's looking after his, maybe?
nobody talks about this ever when fixing to get married. no one says, yes, that's all very nice and made in heaven, but who pays what bills? and how? why don't we discuss this? because it isn't civilised? isn't romantic, for fuck's sake?
maybe this is just youth's arrogance at the frailities of an infirm protocol. the ringing logic of the fantastically underinformed. i know nothing of being over 35 and not married. i know nothing about being the parent of a 35 and not married. and i know precious little about not talking about money. i talk about it all the time. and it makes me so mad all this tiptoeing around the first thing on everyone's mind and the heaviest weight on their heart.
but i get no satisfaction from this fury. no chest-thumping youthful righteousness to massage the uncertainties away. no triumph at all in the making of this fist.
so her parents have no money. so her dad is hurrying up with his eye operation next month, when her current job will still cover the hospital bills. so they can't afford rent for too long now. and they're the nicest family that ever i met. kind to animals, devoted to friends, generous with all they have. they lit a candle in a faraway church when our missing dog was found. they're almost ridiculously nice. and so incredibly poor.
so i say to pappa: surely, their daughter isn't going to abandon them. i mean, she'll either get a job to support them or get her husband to compensate for the salary she isn't earning. that's only fair.
and my parents reply in unison: but how can he be expected to take care of her parents? why should he?
because she's looking after his, maybe?
nobody talks about this ever when fixing to get married. no one says, yes, that's all very nice and made in heaven, but who pays what bills? and how? why don't we discuss this? because it isn't civilised? isn't romantic, for fuck's sake?
maybe this is just youth's arrogance at the frailities of an infirm protocol. the ringing logic of the fantastically underinformed. i know nothing of being over 35 and not married. i know nothing about being the parent of a 35 and not married. and i know precious little about not talking about money. i talk about it all the time. and it makes me so mad all this tiptoeing around the first thing on everyone's mind and the heaviest weight on their heart.
but i get no satisfaction from this fury. no chest-thumping youthful righteousness to massage the uncertainties away. no triumph at all in the making of this fist.
posted by Deepa at 9:52 PM
10 Comments:
oh, abuuu.
Are you deepa, the FH movie reviewer?
are you nonimus the unimaginative irrelevant anonymous?
bu, it was orrible bu. with all the not understanding and feeling orrible. :* and >:D< and :x
nonimus: nope, not that one, the other one
bu, lol. also guggee (you know which one that is) (check us out, we have secret code and all)(heehaa)
warya: Kind of. Yes. Also, I don't have a blogger id to sign with and didn't want to sign my real name in here. Ahh, nemmind. Will just lurk. :)
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
t: i'm not sure which part of this you're referring to when you say - in that school marm way of yours - all this silliness. yes, this is a personal space but trespassers are welcome to come look under the rocks. but they can't expect the underlying frog to be happy about the intrusion.
i'm glad you liked the post. couldn't we just have concentrated on the wonder that is me?
I am no school marm - hate them and their kids if they happen to be in my class.so I will just quietly slink away from here.You do write well and it wouldn't hurt to be reader-friendly in general!
t: i'm sorry you deleted your comment. all this over a commentor who asked me a personal question? the school marm was a joke. it was true but it was a joke. its worst crime, however, one that makes it unpardonable, is that it was an unsuccessful joke. there's a special place in hell for those.
You are still on my blogroll. :-)
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